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And I am done. Will you marry me? I learned to do whatever I had to do to make it happen, because sex reassured me that I was loved and wanted. You might wonder why Chris couldn't accept his homosexuality, but the sin factor was ingrained in him at an early age. Didn't I realize he was gay?

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And I am done. At that moment, I felt as if I were standing alone in the world, stripped of all dignity, with a big sign on me that read idiot. That evening, after we'd watched our three children play on the lawn of our home in the Washington, D. I felt like such a chump. You can't be gay in the military, and if you're married, then of course you're not gay. Everyone has a fundamental right to be who he is, and I pray that Americans as a whole can become more accepting of homosexuals. I see now that many gay spouses genuinely believe they are doing the right thing by getting married, because they are lying to themselves more than anyone.

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He had been having anonymous sex with men. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When Chris spoke to a health official who called to check on me my case had been reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta , he realized our baby was at risk for premature birth and newborn pneumonia, and he became hysterical, as though he were having a nervous breakdown. We looked like the perfect family in our Christmas card portrait. Then came my fateful visit to the obstetrician and Chris's confession.

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