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I avoid walking with other people as often as possible because walking and talking at the same time is a challenge. A different day has come, though. The person on the other side of the empty seat often tries to commandeer some of that space for themselves, though if any part of your body were touching them, they would raise hell. It became this real, frustrating, messy, necessary thing, and I had a lot of it in my life. After hauling myself up on stage, I sat down on a tiny wooden chair which cracked, and I realised, I am going to vomit and I am going to fall on my ass in front of all these people. My body is a cage of my own making. On this particular flight, this agitated man called for a flight attendant.


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Roxane Gay: ‘My body is a cage of my own making’

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For one, I am tall. My memories of the after are scattered, but I remember eating and eating and eating so I could forget, so my body could become so big it would never be broken again. I need to lie down, I thought. On 10 October , one of my greatest fears was realised. There was a boy. And then I hunger even more.


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I am the fattest person in this city. They were not going to send me home, so I got a room I would end up staying in for 10 days. I am the fattest person in this theatre. After hauling myself up on stage, I sat down on a tiny wooden chair which cracked, and I realised, I am going to vomit and I am going to fall on my ass in front of all these people. I taste the idea of food shopping without strangers taking food they disapprove of out of my trolley or offering me unsolicited nutrition advice.


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